You know, I was thinking. I realize Israel is the only country who stops everything to remember the Holocaust for two minutes in silence, tomorrow at 10am. But why should they be the only ones? So many of American college age children don’t even believe it ever happened! Maybe they don’t WANT to believe it ever happened. Regardlessly, should this not be something that every single person, should remember? Its two minutes. I bet if everyone stopped what they were doing in remembrance of what happened, people would start asking questions. Guys, it doesn’t have to be just us here in Israel! Let’s show Israel and the people of Israel that we do NOT forget what happened and that we stand with them!! I urge you, set a timer on your phone and no matter where in the world you are, stand still and remember with us!

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Yes, I’m in Israel! :)

I received a comment from a dear reader asking what I was up to and if I was in Israel? I’m haply to announce that yes, I am here!!  ? I arrived last Thursday and have been thoroughly enjoyed myself!! You can read the updates here:

Blessings and thank you for your prayers!


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Jean and Peachy-pink Plaid

Hello gals,

Here are some pictures, taken last Spring. 🙂 A couple of my siblings and I went for a walk, and then took a few pictures of the outfit I was wearing. 🙂 The jean skirt used to be a dress that I just cut down at the waist to turn it into a skirt. The skirt was very comfortable, though a little too narrow, so I’ve ripped out the seams between the skirt panel, and I plan to add A-line panels of denim to make it wider. I may post pictures of the finished skirt later. 🙂

The trail going to the creek…

 photo DSC05250.jpgThe shirt was a thrift store find and cost me about $1.50, and the skirt-dress was about $3. 🙂

 photo DSC05201.jpg photo DSC05199.jpgAt the end of the trail, there was a creek and it was soo cold, but very pretty to watch!!

 photo DSC05181.jpg


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Ezekiel Chapter 20, Part 2

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Shabbat Shalom my precious girls! I pray this finds you all doing wonderfully and growing stronger in Him by the day!

We left off in our study with Yhwh telling us that He scattered the children of Israel because of their rebellion—they weren’t keeping His Sabbath’s and laws, but were despising them, and going after their father’s idols. I would like to pick up where we left off.

Let’s pick up in verses 31…

Ezekiel 20:31, “For when ye offer your gifts, when ye make your sons to pass through the fire, ye pollute yourselves with all your idols, even unto this day: and shall I be enquired of by you, O house of Israel? As I live, saith the Lord Yhwh, I will not be enquired of by you.

We may not cause our sons to pass through the fire, but I want to bring this closer to home. They were sinning against Yhwh, and thus, Yhwh would not be inquired of by them! He was silent, because of their sin.  Is Yhwh silent with us? I have often found two specific reasons that Yhwh becomes silent with me, personally. 1) Because He is testing me to see if I will do what He has told me to do, and 2) Because there is sin in my life and the sin has placed a barrier between my Holy God, and myself.  It is easy for us to read this and think “well, that’s good! That’s not me! I don’t do this, so I’m good!” But are we? My precious sisters, is there sin in our lives that we are not willing to deal with? Is there sin keeping an unhealthy distance between your God and you? Make it personal. If Yhwh is being silent with you, why?  Find out! When we see problems with our friends being silent or distant with us, do we not seek out why and what has happened to cause it? Why do we not do the same with Yhwh? Ask Him to show YOU how YOU can become holy in His presence! Ask Him to search your own heart.

This next section is what stopped me dead in my tracks. It is a sobering realization.

Ezekiel 20:34-38, “And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered (a wonderful thought…or so it seems), with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out (most dwell on the re-gathering…but Yhwh isn’t going to just re-gather us. He is about to deal with us and test us like never before!). And I will bring you into the wilderness of the people, and there will I plead with you face to face. Like as I pleaded with your fathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so will I plead with you, saith the Lord Yhwh. And I will cause you to pass under the rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant: And I will purge out from among you the rebels, and them that transgress against me: I will bring them forth out of the country where they sojourn, and they shall not enter into the land of Israel: and ye shall know that I am Yhwh.”

Yes, we so look forward to the regathering! But read that passage again!!! Yhwh said He will regather His people, with fury. He is about to see who is truly on His side, and who is not. We often don’t think about the wilderness experience of the children of Israel, but we are about to be brought through the very same thing! Will we pass the test?! Yhwh says He is about to plead with us, FACE TO FACE! He wants the rebels out! He wants only a people who will listen to His voice and follow His ways! Those who continue to transgress, will NOT enter the land of Israel. There is no longer a living on the line. Those who claim to serve Him, but aren’t, won’t be allowed in. It is clear as can be. He is going to pass us under the rod and see who will obey Him, and who won’t. Who will follow Him, and who won’t.

Sisters, will you pass the test? Will you honor and obey Him? He’s asking Ezekiel to plead with the people and I am pleading with you! We have got to stop living life on the line, trying to please the world around us, and trying to half heartily please Him. Lukewarmness is going to be destroyed. Yhwh tells us it will be either all the way, or no way. Will we follow and obey Him? Will we stop despising His ways? Will we stop learning the ways of the heathen? We are to live in the world, but we are NOT to be OF the world. There is a huge difference.  Will we become a holy and set-apart people so that we can stand before a holy and just God? Will we become a righteous and holy bride, putting the sin behind us? This is what He is begging us to do! He wants a bride who is pure and white…but we can only become this through His Son. We can only become this, through obedience…both in our hearts and minds, and in our every day actions. What does our lives speak?

Ezekiel 20:39-44, “As for you, O house of Israel, thus saith the Lord Yhwh; Go ye, serve ye every one his idols, and hereafter also, if ye will not hearken unto me: but pollute ye my holy name no more with your gifts, and with your idols. For in mine holy mountain, in the mountain of the height of Israel, saith the Lord Yhwh, there shall all the house of Israel, all of them in the land, serve me: there will I accept them, and there will I require your offerings, and the firstfruits of your oblations, with all your holy things. I will accept you with your sweet savour, when I bring you out from the people, and gather you out of the countries wherein ye have been scattered; and I will be sanctified in you before the heathen. And ye shall know that I am Yhwh, when I shall bring you into the land of Israel, into the country for the which I lifted up mine hand to give it to your fathers. And there shall ye remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein ye have been defiled; and ye shall lothe yourselves in your own sight for all your evils that ye have committed. And ye shall know that I am Yhwh, when I have wrought with you for my name’s sake, not according to your wicked ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house of Israel, saith the Lord Yhwh.”

Wow. It so amazes me how much Yhwh loves us!! He tells us He is about to cleanse house. He wants the rebels to stop polluting His name. He tells them to go. If they aren’t for Him, then to leave and go do what they want. But He wants to bring us back to His holy mountain, Jerusalem, as a holy and righteous bride/nation/people. But He does not bring us back, UNTIL He has passed us under the rod to see where we stand. He wants us to realize 1) It isn’t our own “righteousness” that will bring us there. We have all sinned and come short of the glory of Yhwh. 2) He is bringing us back, for His name’s sake…not because we deserve it, for we surely do not. and 3) That we MUST MUST MUST be obedient to Him and follow His Word, which is truth.

I see two people, much the same in this passage, yet totally different. Both have sinned, both have fallen short of His glory. But one is repentant and turns to Him, to His covenant, His ways, and His mercy and forgiveness. The other doesn’t. One enters, one does not. Which will we be?

It’s so easy for us to point the finger. But the truth of the matter is, as my father often says, when we do, there are three more pointing towards us. We need to search our hearts and our lives and get the sin out of them. We can’t compare ourselves, among ourselves. We must compare our lives, up against the truth of scripture! Where are we not living our lives, as He has laid out? Are we polluting His name? His Sabbath’s? His laws? Are we despising His ways? Are we learning the ways of the heathen? Before we can minister to His people, we have to first look internally within our own hearts. Which group will we find ourselves in?

I can’t tell you how many area’s Yhwh has convicted me about, as I ponder and meditate this, and seek His face. Things I never even realized before, become apparent and clear. Things I realized were a struggle for me, yet I never understood why…until He showed me the sin in my life, causing it. How much do we simply accept, instead of going to Him in prayer and asking Him “why am I thus?”

Girls, go deep. Let Him search your heart and show you things. Go back to the word of Yhwh and truly ask Him to show YOU where you aren’t walking in His ways. Let Him cleanse you and make you ready! He longs to bring us into His covenant. But we have to be holy, as He is holy. We have to stop trying to play both sides of the line! We are either for Him, or against Him. There is no middle ground. Which will you choose? Who will you serve? Truly, serve? Wholeheartedly, serve? He will not tolerate the mentality of “when it’s convenient, I’ll serve you”. He wants our hearts. He longs to have our hearts. He longs, as would our groom, to know we are totally, fully, and completely, His alone. He wants the idols (or idle’s) out of our hearts and lives.

May we become a people who He can regather back home.

Posted in Challenges, Choices, Godly Daughterhood, Holiness, Intentional Living, Israel, Obeying God, Serving Yahweh, Studying His Word | 2 Comments

Celebrating 21 Years with my lover of my soul!

I can hardly believe how the years have flown by! I woke this morning thinking “wow! It seems like just yesterday, has it really been 21 years already?!” I can’t imagine life without Him, and I can honestly say, the years only get sweeter and sweeter with Him, as I learn to love Him the way He needs me to! How I am learning I can truly depend upon Him for my all in all! The more time goes by, the more I am realizes just how amazing my God is, just how great of a provider He is, just how deep His love and forgiveness is, and just how much He truly blesses my life, day in and day out! I can’t sing His praises more and I pray that if He graces me with another 21 years here on earth, that our relationship will only grow stronger, deeper, and sweeter by the day!!! To say I am looking forward to being in His arms, is an understatement! But I know for now, He still has a lot of work for me to be doing, and so I cheerfully put my all into it, and look forward to the day when He calls me home to Himself. :o)

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Ezekiel 20 part 1

Shabbat Shalom my precious girls,

I pray this finds you all doing wonderfully and enjoying this absolutely beautiful Shabbat! Atleast it is absolutely beautiful here on the north shore, in Massachusetts!

I mentioned a passage of scripture that I wanted to share that I have been mediating on for weeks now. There are actually quite a few, but this chapter is what has been the basis of all the other scripture verses…and it’s Ezekiel 20. Months ago, as I was praying about something, Yhwh had given me this passage of scripture. But more recently, He has been pulling out different things within it, and its been so convicting and so thought-provoking for me. It begins with Yhwh seemingly pleading with Ezekiel. Let’s read what He says…

Ezekiel 20:4 “Wilt thou judge them, son of man, wilt thou judge them? cause them to KNOW the abominations of their fathers:”

Cause them to know the abominations of their fathers. But what exactly was their problem? What abominations was Yhwh pleading with Ezekiel to show them?

First we see Yhwh telling them to “…cast ye away every man the abominations of his eyes, and defile not yourselves with the idols of Egypt:…” Then we see as we read further in the chapter what their problem was. “Wherefore I caused them to go forth out of the land of Egypt, and brought them into the wilderness. And I gave them (remember this part!) my statutes, and shewed them my judgments, which if a man do, he shall even live in them. Moreover also I gave them my sabbaths (key part!), to be a sign between me and them, that they might KNOW that I am Yhwh that sanctify them.”

So we see here what the whole chapter is about. Yhwh gave them his judgments, his statutes, his sabbaths, and something was happening that caused Yhwh to be just a wee bit upset with the people. Remember what He said at the beginning of the chapter…”Wilt thou judge them, son of man, wilt thou judge them? cause them to KNOW…!” He said He gave us all these laws, to be a sign between us, that we would KNOW that He was Yhwh which sanctifies them. Let’s continue reading on.

“But the house of Israel REBELLED AGAINST ME in the wilderness: they walked NOT in my statutes, and they DESPISED (key word) my judgments, which if a man do, he shall even live in them; and my sabbaths they GREATLY (key word) polluted: then said I, I would pour out my fury upon them…” a little bit further down the chapter “Because they DESPISED my judgments, and walked not in my statutes, but polluted my sabbaths: FOR THEIR HEART WENT AFTER THEIR IDOLS.”

I want you to think about these key points that Yhwh is addressing here. Yhwh gave, yet they were despising and greatly polluting His Sabbath’s and laws. But how were they? They were polluting them because their heart went after idols. In another area He mentions them learning the ways of the heathen. So the question that I had and have is, putting this in today’s time period, and making it personal, are we doing the same things? Are there laws that we despise? We may do them. I’m not saying we don’t. But do we DESPISE them? Do we look down upon them?And, are we polluting His Sabbath’s (or any other laws) by idols that we have set up in our own lives? Have other things taken the place of Yhwh? Are we learning the ways of the heathen? How does our hearts line up? Do we pass the test? Or are we, too, walking in the abominations of our fathers?

Ezekiel 20:18-21, “But I said unto their children in the wilderness, Walk ye not in the statutes of your fathers, neither observe their judgments, nor defile yourselves with their idols: I am Yhwh your God; walk in MY statutes, and keep my judgments, and do them; And hallow my sabbaths; and they shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am Yhwh your God. Notwithstanding the children REBELLED against me: they walked not in my statutes, neither kept my judgments to do them, which if a man do, he shall even live in them; they polluted my sabbaths: then I said, I would pour out my fury upon them, to accomplish my anger against them in the wilderness.”

Over and over and over again He keeps explaining this was the problem. They were not obeying Him. They were not only walking in their own ways, they were despising and polluting His. I think He is referring to all of his statutes and judgments, but I found it very interesting that He constantly refers back to His Sabbath’s. We MUST hallow His Sabbath’s! It is SO important that we keep it holy. But read what happens next.

Ezekiel 20:22-24, “Nevertheless I withdrew mine hand, and wrought for my name’s sake (key part!), that it should not be polluted in the sight of the heathen (Key phrase!), in whose sight I brought them forth. I lifted up mine hand unto them also in the wilderness, that I would scatter them among the heathen, and disperse them through the countries (WHY????); BECAUSE they had not executed my judgments, but had DESPISED my statutes, and had POLLUTED my sabbaths, and THEIR EYES were after their fathers’ idols.”

They were scattered because He cares about His name and they were defiling it! He cares how we represent Him, He cares how we keep His laws, but He even cares how we THINK about His laws!

So let me pass the question onto you that I have had going through my own mind; Are there laws that you may not understand, or like, that you despise or simply look down upon? It’s easy to point the finger and tell others that they are walking in the abominations of their forefathers, but the question really needs to become personal, Are we? How do our lives line up with scripture?

It’s had me on a journey of really going through His word and evaluating my own life up against His word. Are my thoughts pleasing in His eyes? Is the way I live my life, pleasing to Him? Am I hallowing and keeping His Sabbath’s the way HE designed? Have I set up other idols in my life (remember, idols can be anything that makes us idle with Yhwh)? Am I learning the ways of the heathen around me, without even realizing it?

My precious sisters, we have to make the word, personal. It was written for US. Are your conversations pleasing? Do they glorify your God? Is your language pure? Or are you trying to “fit in” with the world around you? How do you keep His Sabbath days? Has Sabbath been turned into a day of speaking our own words and doing what pleases us, or what pleases Him? That’s a whole post in and of itself! But this chapter has had me pondering and meditating and asking Yhwh to search my own heart and see if their be any wicked way in it. I don’t have time right now, but as soon as I do, I will try to post part 2 of this chapter. I think what Yhwh says will make you stop in your tracks and sincerely think and ponder it even more than what He has already shared with us up to this point! Its incredible! We MUST take inventory of our lives. Remember Yhwh scattered the children of Israel for His names sake, because of their rebellion! We are STILL scattered today What will it take to be regathered in Israel? But I must not get ahead of myself. :o)

For now, I have dinner to prepare and a fire to get going, as another Shabbat has passed and another day has dusked (I can’t say dawned, as it’s evening! lol). So until next time…

Yours truly,


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Be Still and KNOW that I am Yhwh thy God

Shalom my precious girls,

(I realize the format in this post is terribly messed up and it’s due to my only having notepad on my pc right now, as I had to leave before my Office cd came in the mail. So please just bear with me for a few more post and hopefully I will get a program loaded back on my laptop :o)

I mentioned in the last post about my possibly going overseas for 6 months and prayers taking longer than I expected for
them to be answered. I would like to share a little bit more about this journey Yhwh has brought me down, in hopes that it will be an encouragement to you,
as it has definitely been for me…and a reminder that none of us should ever forget what He has said.

Through the years, Yhwh has laid different things on my heart and shared different things with me. One of which, was serving in Israel. For years now, I have felt Him
calling me there. In fact, my heart had been in Africa for many, many years before (pretty much since I was a young believer), but I felt Him clearly tell me that my
heart was in the wrong place and it needed to be in Israel. At that point, I really had no desire to even go to Israel, let alone serve there. I began a journey of pouring
my heart out to Him and asking Him to give me a love for His people, like He had. I wanted to be where He wanted me, and I wanted to love the people He had called me
to love…and not just love, but to love them like HE loved them! I needed him to do a heart transplant, and He did a complete one in record time!
I know I have shared this story with you all before, how He told me to get into the book of Isaiah, and to keep reading it over and over again! You can not (in my humble
opinion!) read that book WITHOUT getting a heart for His people!
My heart began to change and a love began to sprout within it, that I can’t even describe. Within 8 months, I was standing on Israeli soil! He had my heart, and He had blessed
me with the most amazing month of my life. Just before I left, I felt Him tell me to get a certain ring, as a reminder of His love for me and as a reminder that He would always
be there with me, He would never leave me nor forsake me, and as a reminder that He WOULD bring me back! We had just had a walk together and I began just crying out to Him.
He had my heart where He wanted it, why was He now sending me back? But I felt Him tell me I wasn’t ready just yet, and He had more work to do in me, and had more work
for me to do back home (where I lived).

Week after week passed, month after month, and year after year. I thought surely He would bring be back within a year! But no, He had other plans still. And one year turned
into two, and two into almost three. March 26 would have been the three year mark for when I first arrived in Israel. Then for the first time this past fall/winter, I felt
Him tell me that it was time to return! I was soooo excited! Beyond excited! Knowing a little bit from prayer as to what He wanted me to do while there, I began searching
as to where and how long I was to be gone for. One lead led to another, and finally, to the most amazing place ever. At that point, there wasn’t any question that this was
where He wanted me to be and I sat there marvelling at His goodness! It was a home caring for the elderly believers in the land. I thought back over the past three years,
and everything He had me doing, was in preparation for preparing me so that I qualified to do what I am about to be doing. It was amazing! With my parents blessing, I sent
my application in. I thought surely I would hear right away. Nope. Yhwh had still other plans. He had a lesson He wanted to drill home to me, before sending me.

“Be still and know that I am YHWH thy God”.

Day after day, week after week, eventually turned into a months time. I had been in contact with a lady there before, but now all I heard was absolute silence. I began to waver.
I questioned if I had even heard Yhwh correctly. Why was I so sure, yet now, all I got was silence? Had I really made everything up in my mind, or had I heard Him loud
and clear? If so, why the silence? Everything became a question. What was He doing? Things weren’t exactly going as I had planned or thought He wanted.
But as I sought His face, really sought His face, He began to remind me of all He had once told me. Scriptures came back. Things He had me doing to prepare me, all came
back. I felt like the Israelite’s who had been told, had been shown, yet soon forgot. They started questioning Yhwh’s goodness, His truth, and what He had told them He was
doing. I sat there and told Yhwh I was so sorry for even doubting Him at His word. I found I was no different than the Israelite’s. He brought Sarah back to my mind. Yhwh
had told them He would bless them with a son. But when year after year passed on by, and she soon found that even her childbearing years had gone by, and still no son had been born,
she began to doubt. Maybe Yhwh didn’t intend to give HER a son. Maybe He intended to provide for her in a different way. We all know the story. Hagar came into the picture
and with her, a son who has hated Yhwh’s chosen from the first day. It wasn’t how Yhwh had intended to provide for her. He meant what He had said. He would give Abraham and
HER a son, not Abraham and Hagar a son. Yet because she doubted, and thus made things happen in her own way of reasoning, look at the mess that came about. They had heard
Yhwh correctly. But trust began to falter, as time passed on.

When Yhwh tells us something, will we listen? Will we follow? Or will we grow weary and begin to doubt we ever heard Him correctly? Will we take things into our own hands and
just assume He had other ways He intended to use us, other than what He had told us? Or other places, than where He had told us He wanted us?

But as soon as I had come to this place, feeling more and more settled that I had heard Him right, all of a sudden, the doors swung open wide! The very next morning, I heard
back and within two days, heard that I was approved and that we needed to start the visa application process and get things moving! I wanted to cry. I wanted to shout.
I wanted to sing for joy. I found myself so incredibly thankful for Him bringing me down the path He had, through the waters He had, to the place I was now at. It was
a testing for sure to see if I would follow Him, and although I didn’t know it at the time, although sensed it a couple of times, I now knew for sure. Would I be a Sarah,
or would I follow Him and trust Him to lead me each step of the way…giving me the strength that I needed for the journey He had me on?

Girls, listen to your heavenly Father and stand strong! When He says “be still”, be still! When He says He has called you to a place, trust that He has, and that He will
provide a way. When His timing isn’t ours, don’t change His will, to fit into your time-frame, or doubt Him at His word, simply because we think things should have happened
already. That month of silence taught me more than I can ever say. It stretched me. It tried me. But it has also confirmed things in a whole new way for me. It has deepened
my dependency upon my God, it has shown me how weak I am without Him, and how I need Him at each and every single step of the way! I can’t do this in my own strength. I don’t WANT
to do this in my own strength! And I know that these next 7 months are going to be trying, to say the least. But knowing I am in the center of His will, is more comforting
than I could ever possibly explain. Although I will miss everyone dearly, I am excited to finally be preparing, and finally getting to His field! And I look soooo forward
to what He will accomplish and teach me while I am there! I look so forward to how He will use me, while I am there!

But in all this, I can’t ask you enough to keep me in your prayers as I venture to this new field of service He is calling me to. Especially as forms are filled and sent,
meetings with the interior happen, for preparations to go smoothly, especially that I would know what to bring and what I shouldn’t, etc. I had to laugh as I arrived down here
to Boston, to care for a precious elderly friend of mine who had hurt himself. As I took my first bus here in the states, had to deal with trains, and had my first experience
of taxi life. Me being in the innocent gal that I am, and who has only had two taxi rides her entire life, one of which was with my father, the other one, one that he had
set up for me. Well, lets just say, as my friend said “girl, he saw you coming!”. This country girl doesn’t know much about the ins and outs of city living. He had told
me to either take the taxi or subway (which would require another change in stations to get to the correct train I needed), and on my way there, a man asked if I would like
a taxi ride there (to my train)? Its only a mile away, so I said “sure”. First mistake, he didn’t have a meter, and second was, I didn’t know you had to ask him how much
before he left! I just assumed it would be the same price and forgot that we do not live in a righteous world. I got there and about fell over when he told me (yes, an older
man who we had been having a very nice conversation together) that it was $25! Mind  you, my bus ticket for a 6 hr ride was $35! But what do you do. As I told L, it’s a lesson
I guess I had to learn and glad I learned it BEFORE leaving the country! So its been amazing as Yhwh prepares me in how to deal with the public transportation’s, as I have never
had to deal with this before…not really. Getting on one train is one thing. Swapping tracks, trains, subways, taxi’s, buses…it’s a whole new world for me. So definitely
keep me in  your prayers and that Yhwh would show me how to navigate around Israel. I thank Him constantly for my smartphone and apps that help with such things! :o)

Also, as it stands right now, I should be leaving sometime the end of March/early April. Pretty much as soon as I get the paperwork over there, I will have a date. I will
try to keep you girls updated, but if things become a bit quiet again, you know why! (I will try to write that article about the passage of scripture tomorrow!)

So until later,
Yours truly,

Posted in Conviction, Faith, Godly Daughterhood, Israel, Seasons of Life, Serving Others, Serving Yahweh, Trusting God | Leave a comment

My Grace IS Sufficient

Shalom my precious sisters!
For weeks now, I have been wondering what I should share with you. There is so much going through my mind and heart, yet I find myself at loss of words. I know, not too often. :o) But I will try to share my heart with you and what has been taking place.
As you know, I was the primary care-taker of my grandfather for 3.5 years, until his passing this last July. Soon after that, I was needed out of state, only to arrive home for 2 weeks, and leave to go help my precious sister with her beautiful family and new set of equally beautiful twin girls, for another 3.5 months. Upon my return home January 5, I was not in the least bit prepared for what met me. I was so immensely glad to be back home, having missed my family a great deal, and knowing that I was most likely about to leave the country for another 6 months. But at the same time, even amongst the joy and excitement at seeing and being with my beloved family, I was hit with the realization that my grandfather was gone, once again. Not only did my arms feel incredibly empty, having had the three little ones in them for three and a half months, but I just felt at such a loss. I had always had my grandfather to take care of upon my return trips home, yet basically for the first time, I arrived home to not having him to look after.
I have to say that the loneliness that hit, and the heartache and longing, was nothing I was prepared for. Yes, I could help around the house for sure, but I found myself trying to find a new normal and not really knowing where to start. I had pretty much wrapped my loose ends up before leaving, having had Yhwh lay it on my heart to get things done beforehand, so I didn’t really have any projects going. And since I’m also getting ready, Yhwh willing, to leave to serve overseas for 6 months, starting something big, I knew was out of the question.
Nights were the worst and became something that I dreaded. I had a beautiful routine where I would rock the girls to sleep pretty much each night. I found my heart aching, my hands empty. That’s when I began to sense Yhwh telling me to “be still” and I realized just how hard that was for me to do. I love serving. I love helping. Sitting still isn’t something I am good at doing and made me deal with a lot that I honestly, would have rathered not had to think about. Sure, I help out around our home, I cook, I clean, I run errands, I knit, I sew, etc. But keep in mind, for the past 4 years, my life looked a lot different. He was always there to take care of, to get up in the morning, to feed during the day and care for, and we always had an especially sweet routine in the evenings when I put him to bed. But all of a sudden, I realized my life was taking on a totally different “new normal”. And at the present, I didn’t have anyone to take care of, and that was a rough reality that set in.
I found myself spending more time in the Word, reading encouraging books, and just praying. I never realized this season would be so difficult, and I guess, because I have been so busy since July, I never really thought much about the fact that I was going to have to re-organize my life (if you want to call it that). I never realized just how hard it would be when things began to quiet down, and answers to prayer about my next step, would take longer to be answered than I expected. So instead of life being extremely busy, I found it to be quiet…for a first time in a very long time. I didn’t even have births happening. Which has been a blessing, but nonetheless, hard. But through all this, I have found myself drawing ever closer to the One who never leaves us nor forsakes us, and oh, how sweet our time has been! When you are in the midst of serving, at times it is hard to spend quality time together, but in the stillness, I found myself learning to love the One my soul loves, even moreso! Those evenings, instead of being something that I dreaded, became sweet times. Early mornings became sweet coffee times with my Saviour, my Lover, my Guide, my Provider, and my Counselor. And I have to say, every day, I am learning to depend upon Him in a whole new way. The more I realize just how weak I am, the stronger I realize He is. In the lonely hours of the night, I found Him to be especially close.
Girls, I share all this to encourage you, go to Him. Seek Him. Lean on Him. We all have our moments of weakness, loneliness, heartache, and struggle. In those times, draw all the closer to Him! Let Him supply all your needs. Let Him show you He is your Provider, your Comforter, your Joy, your Strength! Dig ever deeper into His Word, and let Him show you new and wonderful things from it! It is His love letter to you! It is a letter about your Love, that He wrote just for YOU! Treasure it! Study it! Ponder it! When the nights become lonely, which Satan loves to try to come in during our weakest moments – so beware!!, meditate on His Word!!! You may not be like me, most aren’t :o), but for me, what really really helps, is to write out scripture verses on index cards (okay, I like color so mine are bright!) and post them all over your room and bathroom! The key to learning how to turn these struggles into something beautiful, is to turn your eyes to Him! Focus on Him. Meditate on His Word…the truth!!  Take each thought captive to the obedience of Messiah. Satan wants us to dwell on our loneliness and struggles, Yhwh wants you to dwell upon His truth and what He has already told you! Yhwh says that “the JOY of Yhwh IS OUR STRENGTH!” Satan wants to steal our joy, don’t you let him do it! He knows that if he can get your focus off of Yahshua and onto your seeming problems, he has you. He will also try to distract you. Again, don’t let him. KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON YAHSHUA!
Yesterday He brought back a Psalm which has meant so much to me. Psalm 106 (now going into Psalms 107…ever thought about the waves of life like the waves of the sea? That’s a chapter to ponder!), but back to Psalms 106…it speaks about the Israelites forgetting what Yhwh had already done. They murmored. They once remembered, but soon forgat.  So often, I think that is us (or atleast me). I often forget just what He has done in my life, and just WHO my God is. May we never forget. May we never complain about where He has us, but instead, ask Him why He has us here, and what He has for us to accomplish for Him while we are here. Maybe its within our own hearts that He longs to minister to, more than to have us ministering. In my case, I think that is just what He longed to do. In the next post I will share with you all a passage of scripture that has been on my heart for weeks. I find myself meditating upon it day and night. I can’t get enough of it and I know I am far from grasping the entire truth of it. But oh! How I long to! It has been ever so convicting and I know more than ever, He longs for me to gain the truth of what He is trying to say through it.
But until next time…I know…I’m leaving you all hanging! :o)
Yours humbly,

Posted in Choices, Contentment, Godly Daughterhood, Intentional Living | Leave a comment

Jean, Paisley and a Pink Blouse


Hello all!
I hope this week finds you enjoying the beauty our Heavenly Father and Creator has made and blessed you with. 🙂 I was thinking about things that Yahweh has blessed me with and my heart becomes so overwhelmed and filled as I think about family and friends who are as family, the best in the whole world! 🙂 Another is the snow. 🙂 We have been under a blanket of snow for the past…three months? I can’t remember when it was that the ground wasn’t covered! Lol. I almost took a picture a couple weeks ago, as we were getting warmer weather and a patch of ground under our snow fort door melted, revealing green grass! 🙂 The snowflakes, sliding down a hill in our woods on my coat because of the hard, thick icy coating under a couple of inches making a nice slide, the fresh fallen blanket of white snow coating the ground, the millions of sparkles, bright moonlit night…so many things to be thankful for!!!!! 🙂

I’ve realized that a nice denim jacket can be soo warm and comfortable! It is really my all-season jacket as it is warmer in the winter, yet, somehow just perfectly warm yet not toasty, in the cool summer evenings. I guess it just helps to regulate the heat as I can wear it indoor and outdoor without becoming too hot or cold. 🙂

Anyway, here are a few pictures of an outfit I wore a few weeks ago to the vets, and then indoors as we played games as a family. I realized just how incredibly comfortable and nice to wear that it was, and decided to go ahead and get pictures to post here. 🙂 Here they are!

The jacket was given to me by friends in Tennessee
The blouse, I bought for a few dollars (I think) at our thrift store
The long sleeve T was given to me by Samantha

 photo IMG-20170125-WA0022.jpgThe skirt is handmade and was also given to me by Samantha
The boots were a $8 thrift store find for my birthday gift, also by Samantha!!! They’ve lasted me quite a while as they were given to me in June, and I have worn them often since then, yet there is still little wear appearing. They are fake leather, so they’re a little too warm in the summer at times, but I like them a lot! 🙂 I’ve worn these boots to a wedding, sabbath gatherings, vets and family farms and they’ve worked well for each. 🙂
I love my sister and being the next gal to her size in the house!!! 🙂 Thank you Lolly!!!

Here is a picture without the jacket…

 photo IMG-20170125-WA0023.jpgI put my bangs up in an inside-out French braid, also called a Dutch Braid and pinned the braid back with a plastic claw.

 photo 2017-01-27 11.37.31.jpg

There it is! 🙂 It’s been a long time since I’ve done an outfit post. I hope you enjoy!!!


Posted in Godly Daughterhood, Modesty, Modesty Monday | 1 Comment

Thirty-Three and Thoughts to Ponder

Shortly after waking this morning, what Yahshua went through around this age, began to play through my mind. You see, today I turned 33 years old. People generally say that Yahshua died on the cross around this time in His life, as close as they can figure from dates and things that happened around that time.

As I pondered this, I began pondering and comparing our lives. What has my life accomplished for His Kingdom, vs. what did His life accomplish? I marvel at what His life accomplished!! He was always about His Father’s business, even as a young boy. Everything He did in life, had purpose. It had an ultimate goal; our redemption, our cleansing, our growing ever closer to His Father, Yahweh, to name a few.

I began to ponder the fact that Yahshua paid the highest price for me, His own precious blood! I am no longer my own, for I have been bought by His blood, …and I have (as do we all!) a Kingdom purpose. I am not here to accomplish my own desires or wishes, but His. And because I am not my own (HalleluYah!), but His, my time is not my own, but His. This brought me to farther question, “What am I doing, and how am I using, my time? Is it how He desires and planned? Or am I wasting it on useless things?”

You see, my precious sisters, I know for myself, so often I can get so focused on “my” desires. What “I” want to accomplish. (Or worse yet, simply find myself having wasted precious hours on things that do not amount to anything of worth!) But this isn’t supposed to be our attitude! We are here for a very specific purpose! And it isn’t to bring pleasure to ourselves! It’s to please, serve, and obey our King! It is to further HIS Kingdom, His family.

So let me ask you a question; how are you spending your time? Are you spending it in a way that is pleasing to your Saviour? Are you in obedience to His Word? A servant doesn’t do what he/she pleases! She does what pleases her Master. How do our lives line up with His Word? Are we even in the Word?

My precious sisters, life is but for a moment here on earth. As you reflect upon each day, how much of that day was used doing what pleases your King, verses what pleases your flesh? Did you even spend time with your King? Have you asked Him lately what He desires for you to accomplish for Him? Or do you assume you already know? And once you do know, have you asked Him how you should accomplish each task? Just because we may think it should be done one way, doesn’t mean that’s what He wants or desires. We have to be in constant contact and conversation with our Saviour, so that we know what each day’s assignments are! Don’t let the time He has given to you, the time that He has bought with His precious Son’s blood, go to waste! Use your time wisely!! Better yet, ask Him how He wants you to use it!! :o)

May our lives, just as His Son’s life, count for His Kingdom and accomplish great and mighty things for Him! May we use each situation in our life, as a means of drawing ever closer to our King. May we constantly be in prayer, each step of the way, asking Him how He wants us to do whatever it is we need to do. Let’s not assume we know what His wishes and desires are, but instead, seek His wisdom, His counsel, His constant help each and every step of the way. And when you realize that you have not been walking as He would want, repent and turn. Each day starts afresh. Seek Him and seek His Kingdom, first!

Instead of looking back on each day with regret, realizing that we have let opportunities slip on past us, and have wasted the precious minutes and hours that He has blessed us with, instead find ourselves clinging to each one and using each one to farther His Kingdom!

Shabbat Shalom!

Posted in Challenges, Choices, Godly Daughterhood, Intentional Living, Serving Yahweh | 1 Comment