“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians 4:29
Another trait that we see with our role model of what a virtuous lady is supposed to look like is that she knows what to say and when to say it. She uses her tongue, not as a two edge sword to tear people apart with, but she instead uses it to build them up with and minister grace, kindness and wisdom with.
Precious sisters, how are you using your tongue? Are you using it to tear others down with? Or are you using it to minister grace, love, kindness, and wisdom with? Are you using it to the edification of body with? Or are you using it to slander, to gossip, to tear others apart with, to criticize and condemn those around you (maybe even behind their back)?
Lately YHWH has really been working on my own life with this, teaching me to take every word and thought captive. Why talk to others about something, if they can’t change it? Why slander those around you? Why tear them down? There is a time to speak in the negative of someone. I’m not saying there is never a place to give information that could protect the righteous from the ungodly. There is a place for it. But, honestly, these are few and far between. Yet, what does your conversation consist of? Is it in keeping with Philippians 4:8? Let’s read this passage again.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
I want you to think about something. If we aren’t even supposed to be thinking about these things, how much more so are we not supposed to be speaking about them?! Yet, how often are we guilty of this very thing? We are not supposed to be allowing any corrupt communication proceeds out of our mouth! That means slandering or talking ill about another, tearing another down, gossiping about another, etc. So let me ask you again, what does your communication look like?
I want to challenge you to think about the virtuous young lady again. Her communication was edifying. It was filled with wisdom and kindness. Even when she needed to say something hard, it was done with kindness. It was used to build people up in the anointed. I can just imagine receiving a letter from her hand. Oh, what a beautiful thing that would be!! How graceful it would be! How wonderful!!!
I put this underneath our Living Intentional series, because girls, think about it…if we don’t intentionally guard what we say, I think I can safely say that we will all fall short of this and speak about things that we shouldn’t. How much better would we be if we intentionally set out to use our tongue only for the edification of the body and ministering of those around us to build them up in the anointed? My mind brings this verse to mind,
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11
Let me share with you a little story that I think will demonstrate this very thing. Recently I went through one of the hardest trials of my life. Satan was trying to destroy me with something that YHWH was bringing me through and allowing me to go through. I knew I was in an extremely spiritual and emotional battleground. I felt like I was sinking in despair and grief. In a way I wanted to just crumble, yet felt my Heavenly Father’s arms around me, holding me, speaking words of comfort and truth to me. Would I listen to Him? Would I dwell on the truth and base my life one what I knew was true and continue to trust YHWH? Or would I allow Satan’s lies to grip my heart and destroy me?
YHWH blessed me with surrounding me with some very godly and precious friends and family and oh, how thankful I am for them! One of them looked down at me and used his tongue to minister to my aching and bleeding heart. (Well they all did, but I would like to dwell on this particular time right now.) He had two options. He could use his tongue to minister kindness and truth, or use it to be a minister of Satan. He chose to be a minister of YHWH and allow YHWH to use his tongue to minister to my aching heart and build me up in the faith. I write this with tears in my eyes. Girls, he had the power at the moment to kill or to make alive, for I was extremely vulnerable right then and there, and I was truly struggling with grief beyond words. Yet, he didn’t push me deeper into the pit of despair I was sinking in right then, he chose to pull me out of it. He challenged me to trust YHWH and to find my way back into his presence. I had gone from the mountain top of joy to the valley of grief in less than three hours. He reminded me that Yahshua had gone from hell to heaven in three days! He encouraged me that YHWH had something very special planned, and I needed to keep trusting him through this. I couldn’t let this destroy me and stop trusting YHWH simply because I didn’t understand it. (Remember Proverbs 3:5) His ways were not and are not our own. But he was and still is worthy of our trust and praise!
Girls, every single time they would see me sinking or carrying this heavy burden myself, they would encourage me to lay it down at his feet and intentionally trust him with it. They would consistently minister grace, kindness, love, and encouragement to me. I know YHWH was there with me but he also knew that I needed help. I cannot possibly tell you how much it meant to me to have friends and family willing to use their tongues to bless, edify, and encourage me to keep trusting YHWH during this time. I needed to be pulled out and set back on firmer ground! I needed people willing to quote the Word to me and remind me of his truth. Their tongues were used to speak the truth, to speak wisdom, knowledge, grace, love, and edification. And I thank YHWH continually for blessing my life in such a way!
Yet, I’ve also seen the other side of it, too. I’ve seen where people allowed Satan to control their tongues as to minister lies, wounds, and sometimes even death. People speak about the tongue having the power to kill and destroy or to minister life and minister grace, kindness, and love with it. And I am here to say that that is TOTALLY true!!! Again I ask you, how are you allowing your tongue/pen to be used? Are you consecrating it to YHWH to be kept for his kingdom? Or are you allowing Satan to use it to wound, kill and destroy those around you? Are you using it to discourage and destroy others with it? Or are you using it to instead minister and encourage others with it?
My precious girls, may I bring you back to YHWH’s word? YHWH’s word admonition’s us to only allow our tongues to be used to minister grace and edification with it! He tells us what to think about, and if we are to be thinking about those things, we are certainly also supposed to be speaking about them! So are you allowing your tongues to minister wisdom, kindness, and love with it? Are you learning to control that two-edged sword?
How I pray that you will take time to surrender this member of your body, consecrating it to YHWH’s use, to be kept by him, to be used for and by him…for my precious girls, you do have the power to wound, kill, and destroy with it, too! May we never be found guilty of this! Let’s ask him to show us ways that we can encourage and minister to others with it today, to bring healing, life and blessing to their lives! And while we’re praying that we can use it to minister grace and wisdom and love to others with it, let us give thanks and praise for those in our lives that YHWH has used their words to minister to our own hearts, encouraging us in our relationship with our Heavenly Father!
I would like to leave you with this passage that another friend used to minister to my life during that trial. This is an example of how we can use scripture to comfort and encourage and minister to others, too. YHWH’s word is SO true!!! Praise YHWH for he is truly good, not just some of the time, but ALL the time!!! YHWH bless, my girls.
“To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for YHWH; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in YHWH. Blessed is that man that maketh YWHW his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies. Many, YHWH my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.”~ Psalms 40:1-5