“I read your post and from my studies God doesn’t give an age where you stop obeying your parents. But what if your father wants you practice another religion or refuses to let you get marrried? There has to be some line at which obedience ends. Remeber when Jacob left Laban with Racheal and Leah. Wasn’t that disobedient of Jacob? Or when Abigail went against her husband Nabal and brought food to David an his army? Or when Jonathan helped David against Saul’s wishes? What if the father wants to tell his married son where to work and how to raise his family and what to wear everyday? Is this scriptural?”
I’m not trying to fight. i see both sides of the issue and I’m trying to find what’s the right balance between obey and leave and cleave.
The line is “Authority”. Authority is “the right to determine what is done”. So we are supposed to obey whoever has the authority over us. When those in authority over us allow us to make the choice, then it is our choice. And when they don’t, we don’t. And when those that have authority over us disagree, then we are to obey whoever has the higher authority, which is why it is important to determine who has what level of authority in all areas of our lives. And we need to do that in advance, so that when the situation develops, we know which one to obey. In Romans 13:1 Yahweh says, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
Now let’s address each one of your “what ifs”, one at a time.
“But what if your father wants you practice another religion”? To see the authority here, let’s look at a 2 year old with respect to their father. Does a 2 year old have the authority to overrule their father as to what religion they are to practice? Since the relationship between the two year old and their father remains the same as the 2 year old becomes a 40 year old, i.e. they are still father/son, what scripture would suddenly give the 2 year old the “authority” to overrule their father as a 40 year old, that wasn’t in effect when he was a 2 year old? Many people, consider the slightest difference in doctrine to be a different religion, but who has the authority to decide doctrine, the father, or the 2 year old child? Now there is a higher authority than the human father, and that is our spiritual father, Yahweh. And certainly Yahweh has the authority to overrule our human father. But I will dare say that most of the time that people claim that they are disobeying their human father at Yahweh’s command, in reality they are disobeying both of their fathers at their own command. Unless we have VERY clear scripture commanding us to disobey our human fathers, we are bound to obey them.
And while on this subject, which of you, if your human father told you to take off your clothes and walk through town naked, would say that he was definitely not commanding you according to the will of Yahweh? Yet remember Isaiah? In Isaiah 20 Yahweh commanded Isaiah to do that very thing. Can you imagine what his wife, or fellow believers were thinking and saying? And I’m sure that they thought that they could prove to him via the scriptures that he had to be wrong. Yet we KNOW that the command came straight from Yahweh, because Yahweh tells us so. So we need a LOT of basis before we override our authority. And time doesn’t permit to tell of all the other examples such as Lot’s children that thought that surely Yahweh hadn’t told them to leave all their wealth behind and flee Sodom, and so burned to death in the city, etc..
Next, “or refuses to let you get married”? Where in His word did Yahweh command that we HAVE to get married? What would be our basis for overriding our authority in this thing? If we disobey without authority, then aren’t we the one in the wrong, not our father?
Next, “There has to be some line at which obedience ends”. There certainly is. It is when a higher authority “COMMANDS” us to do otherwise, and not until.
Next, “Remember when Jacob left Laban with Rachael and Leah. Wasn’t that disobedient of Jacob? Or when Abigail went against her husband Nabal and brought food to David and his army?” We must be careful not to convert a record of what someone did into a command from Yahweh. Micah stole gold from his mother, and later built a gold god out of it. Aaron built a gold ox, and lead the people in worshipping it. David, the man after God’s own heart, committed adultery and murder. Are we to say that we are all supposed to do these things because they did them? Of course not. Likewise with much of what others have done. Unless there is a direct command, we cannot interpret it as a direct command, nor even as not being sin.
Next, “Or when Jonathan helped David against Saul’s wishes”? This one is a little different in that Jonathon knew of the command given by Yahweh that David was to be king instead of him. So Jonathon was obeying the higher authority. Never the less, you will not find it written anywhere that we are to do as Jonathon did. Only that he did it.
Next, “What if the father wants to tell his married son where to work and how to raise his family and what to wear every day? Is this scriptural?”? Just like the father can tell his 2 year old son where to work (or not work), how to do a particular task, and yes even what to wear or not wear, nothing changes when that 2 year old becomes 40 years old. The same command that gave the human father that authority to begin with, is still in effect. Doesn’t our spiritual father, Yahweh, tell us where to work and not work? Doesn’t He tell us what to wear and not wear? Does He stop doing this when we are 40 years old? No, He continues doing this no matter how old we are. Since He is doing this through the authority of being our father, our human father has that authority too. None of us would say that a 2 year old can dictate what he is going to wear. Why? Because the 2 year old doesn’t have that authority. Instead, he is commanded to obey his parents. The same is true when we are old.
And since you didn’t mention an obvious “can’t do” scenario, I will. What if our human father tells us to serve the devil? Then we can go to the written scriptures, and see that our spiritual father, Yahweh, who obviously has more authority than our human father, clearly tells us not to do that. So in that case, we can tell our human father (kindly of course) that we are sorry, but because our spiritual father, who has more authority than he does, has clearly told us not to do that, we are unable to comply with his command, and if he wishes to pursue it further then he can appeal it to his authority, Yahweh, and when he gets his authority, Yahweh, to grant him the required authority, then we will gladly obey him in this area.
But in doing this, we need to be careful not to use the famous “ace of trump” as I like to call it. A lot of people that I know like saying, about just about everything, that Yahweh told them to do it. In this way nobody can argue with them because nobody can prove that Yahweh didn’t tell them directly that they are to do something contrary to His written word. But time always tells all. And very soon people readily recognize such people as what they really are, namely false prophets. So unless Yahweh does tell you directly, and that very clearly, we need to stick with the written word of Yahweh. And I would point out that even most of the prophets of Yahweh were seldom told things by Yahweh directly more than 1 to 3 times, with fewer exceptions recorded in the written word than we have fingers. Even his prophets had to get most of their information by the prescribed authority chain.
So as you see, all of it really is all just a matter of authority.