Wow! It feels SO good to be home with my precious family once again…and I have to say, that I am very much looking forward to Shabbat! :o) It seems like as each one passes, I grow more and more fonder of the coming next one! And after traveling well over 30 hrs this past week, I don’t know about all y’all, but a nice relaxing Shabbat is something I am really, really looking forward to! :o) We are truly one very blessed people, loved by an extremely loving and merciful God! What other god blesses his people with a day of rest, each and every single week?! Talk about merciful and loving God who truly cares for His own!!!
Did I get your interest peaked with the last post? The question was; If Yhwh gave you a choice to stay here on the earth, or leave to be with Him, which would you choose? What made you decide the one you did?
As I was driving pondering the close call we had, the excitement that ran through me at the idea of being that close to being in my loving Saviour’s embrace, followed almost immediately by the thought of “this is sooo selfish!”, and I had to stop and smile! What was wrong with me?! Like I had mentioned in the past post, I found myself smiling at the fact that not too far in my distant past, I had thought it was selfish for wanting to stay on this earth…yet here I was, on the completely opposite side of the equation and thinking the same thing “this is so self!”…which in my line of thinking…it was!!! But why was it? How could two completely opposite things, still be equally selfish and equally wrong?
As I thought about this, I must admit that what Yhwh brought to my mind right then, once again saddened me at the thought of leaving this world…but this time, it was for a totally different reason than before!
Let me take you down a road and back to a time when I would be grieved when I heard of a younger girl/lady who had passed away. Knowing that they would never know the joys of loving a husband (or being loved by one), bearing a child, nursing them and training them up in the ways and wisdom of Yhwh, my heart would grieve for their seemingly huge loss. Not that being with our Saviour is a bad thing…anything from it! But coming from someone who thoroughly looked forward to experiencing these great joys and blessings, it broke my heart that they wouldn’t be able to experience something so beautiful here on earth. And when I would think of myself passing away before I could also know them, it really saddened me. Then I would find myself chastising myself for even struggling with such a thought, knowing it was so selfish, because I mean, what could be more beautiful than life with my Lover of all time? Yet, maybe you could say it was a sensual struggle, but as much as I looked forward to the day I could be with my Saviour, this aspect has always saddened me. Not ever knowing such a joy here on earth? Something I so looked forward to with every fiber within me? But sadly, this was what went through my mind for years and I found myself asking Yhwh to please not let that happen to me.
Was wanting to know the joys of married life, wrong? Marriage is a beautiful, beautiful thing! It’s a holy union and Yhwh created it! But, in a way, yes, this mindset was wrong…because I wanted it for all the wrong reasons.
Now let me bring you back to the other day. Why was it equally selfish when I was actually excited at the thought of how close I was to being in my Saviour’s loving arms and leaving this sinful world behind me? In a matter of seconds, Yhwh had totally convicted my heart, and the same thought that had excited me, quickly saddened me as this passage came flooding into my mind…
“Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few; Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.” Matthew 9:37-38
As I thought about all the work that still needed to be done here on earth, so that our Lover could come back for us, I began thanking Yhwh for not taking me home and allowing me to work in His fields! Does life get overwhelmingly hard at times? Yes. But as I thought about the two choices, I had to pray that He would see fit to continue using my life as long as He could, no matter what price I had to pay to further His Kingdom!! Being brought into His presence, seemed like the “easy road”, and yes, I can heartily say, I look sooo forward to serving my King in His presence! But at such a price that the work here goes undone??? How could I, looking around me at all the work that still needed to be done, wish such a thing?
You see girls, Yhwh showed me just how much He had changed my heart. Do I still long to be with my Beloved? With all my heart, yes! But even my prayers have changed drastically the past few months and even the last few years. When they did, I can’t say. I just knew that they had. Before where I had almost pleaded at times for Yhwh to bring us together for selfish reasons, I now find myself not just praying that He would bring us together, but that He would for His Kingdom’s sake! I longed to further His Kingdom, to furthering His gospel, to really be able to work in His fields which are so ripe and ready to be harvested! It was no longer a desperate plea for selfish motives. It was a desperate plea for eternal purposes! Even if my husband and I could never “come together” as husband and wife or have children, the plea of my heart would be the exact same, for I know that “where two or more are gathered together, there He is in their midst” and “a three-fold cord is not quickly broken”. Yahshua sent His disciples out by two and two, because when one is weak, the other can be strong. When one soldier is down, there is another to pick them back up, and help them to safety. In essense, there is safety in being sent in pairs of two. When you are alone in the midst of a battle, and are hit, whose there to help you? When the firy darts start flying, and you begin to get tired and worn, whose there to help you ward them off and shelter you as you recover your strength? Or better yet, help you look out for the enemies advances, and stand beside you building that wall, so that he can’t get behind the armies front lines?
Over the past few years, Yhwh has shown me more and more what a spiritual battlefield we are in…and it is only getting worse, as Ha’Satan knows his time is drawing to a close! Yes, he has already been defeated, but he sure tries to convince everyone that he has not been! And as I kneel in battle, I have to admit, many times I feel weak, knowing I kneel alone in one sense and I realize this is what I long for most, knowing my battle partner is kneeling right beside me! Do I look forward to the other blessings of married life? Of course! Who doesn’t?! Marriage is honourable! It IS something to be desired! Yet, I realized more than ever, what I longed for most was to be able to be partners in a spiritual battle, with my love, fighting my Lover’s battles with Him! And knowing that if He had taken me, I would no longer be here to be one of His soldier’s here on earth, preparing the way for His return, is what made me sad!
Sisters, no matter how hard your life’s battles become, be thrilled you are worthy to fight within them!!! Thank Yhwh for calling you and blessing you, and allowing you to fight beside Him in them, preparing for His return!! And for those of you who are married, praise Yhwh and thank Yhwh for blessing you with a battle partner! Don’t take your beloved for granted! Don’t take this treasure and gift that He has blessed you with, for granted! And remember, your man is not your battle enemy, he is your God-ordained, battle partner! Don’t fight against him, fight with him!! :o) And watch where Yhwh can take the both of you! You may be totally surprised and so richly blessed!! Oh sisters!!! There is SO much work that still needs to be done!!! Use your time wisely here on earth and don’t take even a minute for granted! He needs each and every single one of them, to be used for His glory, honor, and praise! He has enough people wasting them and throwing the time they could be working in His field, away. Ask Him how you can be busy about His work and run the race He has given you, well! It truly is worth it all!!
And for those of you who are single, don’t allow a single day to go by where you do not get down on your knees and pray for your spiritual battle partner! Ask Yhwh to prepare you both for the coming battles, that you may both fight well together, and stand strong, even in the hottest of battles!! And especially as you are apart, cover them with prayer. Ask Yhwh how you can be bathing them in prayer, now! Don’t wait! Yhwh will lead you as you pray, and more than ever, while you are apart, Ha’Satan is going to (not may) take full advantage of the fact he is fighting in this battle, alone, and he is going to fight against your man all the more!! So get on those knees and ask Yhwh how you can fight alongside of your man, even while you are apart. He’ll show you in which ways he needs your prayerful support. But whatever you do, don’t think since you aren’t together, you don’t need to be in prayer for him! Bathe him in prayer continually!!! Regardless if you can see the battle he is in, I assure you, if he is one of Yhwh’s children, he is definitely in one (praise Yhwh!!!)! So start learning how to fight well, now! :o) You won’t be disappointed!
Many blessings and a blessed Shabbat Shalom to y’all,