Shabbat Shalom, my precious sisters!!!
My my my!!! What a week this has been!!! :o) As I was driving home tonight, the week and years (will explain this in a second) were being played through my mind and I found myself so full of love for my King!!
Sunday brought a day of celebrating my amazing mother and thanking Yhwh for blessing me with such an amazing Godly example of a mother and friend that she is!!
Monday found me so excited as I dug into my Hebrew studies even more, laughing at how I must look driving down the road, carrying on a conversation with my CD player, hands going, facial expressions that says it all, and the “Oh wait!!!! Zeh Sham, lo Zeh po!!!!” As I emphatically shake my head, laughing the whole time, realizing my mistake in giving the poor guy incorrect directions, but quickly correcting it! :o) For those who aren’t familiar with Primsleur language courses, they have a male and female having a conversation with each other, and then they will ask a question and you are given time to answer it, and then they will repeat the answer a few times, to make sure you get it correct. One time I glanced over at my brother who was sitting in the passenger seat beside me, to watch him grinning at me…and then I realize how funny I must look as my hands have been making constant gestures as I’m talking back to them! I never realized how much I talk with my hands until I started doing the Primsleur course, but I mean, how can you help it?! :o)
I thought over the week with all the blessings it held…Yhwh providing the complete Hebrew level 1 course for only $50! My being able to get our two week menu plan done and get our menu/recipe binder put together (will try to do a post about that soon), the blessing of a recipe/menu/shopping list app a friend shared with me called “AnyList” and how it’s been SUCH a HUGE blessing to me! Not to mention the bright green leaves coming into bloom, the grass turning into deep and lush bright greens, the birds chirping first thing in the morning, yes, I’m even thankful for the black flies (our Maine state bird…I mean fly!) as it means new life with Spring finally here…and who isn’t thrilled when the winter is past and gone?! Then I thought of the blessing of still being able to care for my grandfather, and Yhwh willing, showing him in part, the love of Yhwh!
I mean, the blessings are just sooo incredible and unending!!!
This week found me digging into scripture with a hunger and thirst, feeling like a young girl with a bowl of mint choc chip ice cream dangling just out of reach of her (can you guess what I could really go for right now?!)! I marvel at how the believer’s life comes and goes in waves. Sometimes it seems to take every ounce of my strength to even know how to pray, yet other times, I feel so close to my King, that it just naturally pours out of me! The same is with scripture reading and studying. At times I feel like I’m pushing against a rock wall, feeling like I’m just not getting anywhere, yet once I get past the “dessert”, I feel like I burst forth in bright sunshine, learning to love my King in new and deeper levels for having pushed through it, regardless about how I may have felt that day!!
As much as I know He is always there, I marvel how He allows us these struggles to learn to persevere in seeking His face all the more!
This week has been one of those “bursting sunshine” type of weeks, as I eagerly read His word, trying to put puzzle pieces together about the wilderness experiences. I know He’s calling me to deeper levels, and that’s part of the beauties of it all. As I read in Hosea about the wilderness, my mind flipped back to Ezekiel 20, how Yhwh again says He is going to bring us back into the wilderness, like He did in egypt. I find myself asking Him a ton of questions as I compare all He tells us about the first wilderness experience to that of the second one, striving to learn more not only about Himself, but myself and my people. What got us there in the first place? What is bringing us there the second time? What lessons did He try and teach us the first time around? What lessons/tests is He giving us the second time around? What can I learn from the first experience? How can I live my life in way that will see me, not marching around in the wilderness for another 40 years, but marching out of the wilderness, into the promise land, like Joshua and Caleb did?
I thought of this week and all I’ve learned, and how blessed I have been to be going through the “counting the omer” prayer challenge (see http://www.biblestudy.org/bibleref/meaning-of-numbers-in-bible/30.html and the bottom of this page which has a table of the number and their meanings http://asis.com/users/stag/godcount.html ) and really doing a heart search, I’ve just found myself so in love with my Ishi (Hosea 2:16). I find my whole relationship with Him just blossoming to new and deeper levels than ever before!
Then I think back over this week and how I got to listening to George Washington’s incredible story and the man of Yhwh that he was; how although he was up agaisnt soooo much, his motto was “There is but one course, and that is to seek truth and to preserver, steadily”. I had no idea that he was only 22 when he was combing bullets out of his hair and his clothes were torn from the bullets ripping through them, but never once entering into his body! He was only 22 when the Indians (or was it the British??) announced that there was a Higher Power keeping him alive and that it was impossible to kill him! He had 5 horses shot out from underneath him, but never once did he back away from the battle, or retreat! He would just jump on another horse and keep charging and encouraging his men to keep their spirits up. When he became president of this country, as soon as they were finished with the ceremony, he didn’t praise himself or become prideful that he was chosen unanimously! No, what you saw was an extremely humble man of Yhwh! He immediately left the hall and headed straight out of the door and down to the church, went in and fell to his knees in earnest prayer, asking Yhwh for wisdom, knowledge, and strength in how to bring this nation together and carry out all that he needed to, knowing that if the people weren’t pulling together (which they weren’t) beforehand, but instead who were often fighting hard against him, that he had his work cut out! His prayer life, courage, and dedication were so inspiring!
Then today I had the privilege of listening a book Helen Keller wrote about her life called “The Story of My Life” and again, I sat there and felt so blessed! This girl who was both deaf and blind, stood against all odds and not only learned to speak, read, and write, but she learned not only how to speak, but how to read about 5 different languages!! One of which was German (her favorite)! She didn’t let these limitations stop her from becoming all she could be for her King. She said yes, it took quite a lot of doing, it was extremely hard at times, but she persevered and it paid off in untold blessings! She crocheted and knitted, climbed trees, canoed, sailed, rode her pony, crossed a rail road bridge (she did NOT recommend even a person with their sight doing this!) and had to get underneath it in record time with her little sister, as the train buzzed overhead, and then make her way back up to the small tresses and over to safety!
Near the end of her book, she said, “Is it not true that, that my life with all its limitations, touches as many points the life of the world, beautiful? Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence. And I learn that whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. Sometimes it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist, as I sit alone and wait at life’s shut gate. Beyond there, is light, and music, and sweet companionship, that I may not enter. Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question His imperious degree, for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate, but my tongue will not utter the bitter futile words that dries to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers that its joy in self-forgetfulness. So I try to make the light in others eyes, my sun. The music in others ears, my symphony. The smile in others lips, happiness.” (Chapter 22 of “The Story of My Life”). What a testimony this precious sister was and is!!!
After I finish this book and ponder the amazing testimony of this girls life, struggles, and victories with Yhwh’s strength, I then turned my music on random as I finish the last leg of our journey home. What better way to enter into Shabbat. I smiled as I sat there listening to the songs Yhwh had playing, as my mind drifted to all His goodness once again! How the memories flooded my mind.
James Block starts to play Overcome
Next came a song from Lev Shalem
After that was a song that really spoke to my heart, and brought back a lot of memories of one of the most amazing grandfather’s a girl could ever wish to have! This is a beloved hymn of my adopted grandfather’s, Grandpa Schulte, who has been with His precious Lord for many a years now.
Day By Day
Up next was another favorite of mine! This song became so precious to me after I became a believer and as I prayed for those who have yet to know my Master. Through the years, it has only become all the more precious to me in so many, many ways.
Someone Is Praying For You
As all these were playing, my mind went back over the last 11 years. You see, today, 11 years ago, I was holding my precious sister, Sophia, for the first and only time. A little girl who Yhwh so richly blessed our family with, for 28 wonderful weeks! Then my mind went to this picture…
This was taken almost 9 years ago, almost to the day. This is of Sarah and I, the little girl who I held for the last time, almost 7 years ago (and also almost to the day!). I thought of where Yhwh had me with Sophia and all He taught me through that, and again as I held this precious little girl 4 years later, and all He taught me through her life and death. To where He has me now. I thought about my precious nephew, who has now been with His maker for two years, and all Yhwh taught me through his life and death. Again, I marvel and smile and thank and praise Him!
There is absolutely no bitterness. No anger. Yes, I miss them all more than words will ever say! They all meant the world to me and always will. But with each one, Yhwh only drew me closer to Himself in ways I can’t even describe. I found myself thanking Him today for all three little ones, for blessing my life with them, for allowing me the immense privilege of loving each one!
There was a time in my life that I dreaded pain, trials, and storms. When I saw them coming, I would want to run from them with every ounce of my being! Yet, I smile tonight, as I realize what Yhwh has done within my heart. I no longer want to run from them, I want to embrace them, knowing He is right there beside me, cleansing me, purifying me, and making me His spotless bride! Through all these experiences and so many more, He has become the One in whom my soul loveth!
I look back through the years, and instead of grieving as I once did, I rejoice and thank Him for each one. I know now, more than ever before, it wasn’t because He didn’t love me, that He asked me to walk through these life’s trials. He asked me to walk through them, because of His love for me! He alone knows what lies ahead, and with each, He was drawing me ever closer to Himself in ways I never even saw.
I know I have talked a lot about storms and trials lately, but the truth is, everyone I talk to, seems to be in one type or another. The times, my friends, are getting much, much more intense! We are nearing our King’s return, and we have got to be sent through the purifying fire! He needs warriors who are strong and capable of going through the days ahead! It’s not for the faint at heart! He said even the very elect, if they could fall, they would. That’s pretty serious!
He needs us to KNOW KNOW KNOW who He is!! He needs us to utterly depend upon Himself, wholly depend upon Himself, and His strength, not our own, to see us through. Yes, as a precious friend once told me, diamonds are cut over and over and over again before they will shine their brightest! That cutting process, although painfully hard at times, is the purifying process. Let it draw you to your knees in complete worship and adoration! Your Lover, Your Ishi, truly loves you with an everlasting love!
And so, as I came home and sat down to my dinner, praising my Saviour for all the many, many blessings this week has held, and smiling at all the precious memories I have of these little girls, this song began playing on the playlist the children had running in the background. So I leave you all with Psalms 56 Light of Life sung by Sons of Korah.
Yes, my heart is full this Shabbat. It’s been a busy, full, but very blessed, week. It’s held so many wonderful memories. Some hard, but all dear and precious. And oh! How I so look forward to being on the other side of the river, running along side of my Beloved King, swinging all my precious little ones in my arms, hearing them shouting for joy! :o) How they must be having the time of their lives!!!
Alright, so now that you all have gotten a peek view into the last week of my life, I must sign off and go worship my King in all His splendor and majesty! Many blessings, my precious sisters! Keep running this race strong! The enemy is going to fight hard against you, but who is he in light of your King? What can he really do to you? Be strong and of good courage, for your Father has already won the battle…the enemy just don’t want us to realize that!! His time ruling this earth is about to end and he knows it! As scripture says, don’t think it strange when fiery trials come your way! Expect them…thank Yhwh for them…for if they never did, then we would have a WHOLE LOT more to be concerned about!!! :o) Oh, my precious girls, stay strong, “for the Father up above, is looking down on you”! He will never leave you nor forsake you! Get into the Word and learn to selflessly love your Ishi! Pour yourself into your marriage with Him and relish in His love for you, His beautiful Bride! Lailah tov!